The Elephant Tree - fourteen
The editor and the limo driver were enjoying a glass of wine with some cheese and crackers. The well endowed writer had refused the wine but, she was nibbling on a carrot stick.
They were getting a minute by minute report from "Sky 86" on the search for the subversive bastards that were planning on killing the president.
Sky 86 had been joined by the government choppers from the CIA, the FBI, the White House staff and Aljazeera.
Sky 86 was tiny news chopper. The rest were government choppers three times as big as the news chopper and naturally being government they wanted the news chopper gone.
"Can we blow that pissy little news chopper out of the sky," the pilot of the FBI chopper asked his commander?
"Can we blow that pissy little new chopper out of the sky," the CIA pilot inquired?
The reply from both headquarters was the same. "Hold you fire until we get permission from Potemkin"
"A Russian?" echoed through both choppers.
"No, idiots…the man upstairs."
Within seconds they had an answer.
"No, you can't shoot the news chopper down."
"Why not," groaned both choppers?
"Because Aljazeera is also there."
"In one of our government choppers."
"How come they get one of our choppers?"
"Oil…directive from OPEC…no Aljazeera…no oil…no oil-no chopper…you know the circle theory…it's one of those 'Catch 22' thingies…"
/ / /
The well endowed writer finished her carrot and informed the editor that she needed to "see a man about a horse" and opened the limo door.
"We're here about an elephant and a donkey. Where does a horse fit in?"
"I've got to pee stupid."
"There's no rest rooms."
"There's that elephant tree."
"A woman can't pee on a tree."
"Why not? Men do it all the time. Is there a law that says a woman can't pee on a tree."
"I don't know. But if there isn't one, there should be."
"No there shouldn't. We have just as much right to pee on a tree as any man does. In fact, when I get back to New York I'm going to organize a 'Woman's National Pee on a Tree' day. Whatever any man can do…we can do better. We'll pee on every tree in America."
She slammed the door and walked over to the tree. The two men in the limo and all the other men in the taxis watched excitedly but she continued walking to another tree…further away and out of sight of the gawking men.
It was easy for her to see the tracks of the elephant, the donkey and the naïve undertaker so after she made her political statement on a stately oak tree, she continued to follow their tracks.
/ / /
The choppers were making a low sweep of the area. Their big blades were chopping the air…whop…whop…whop…and creating a tremendous wind.
As they approached the fabricated circus parade, the wind blew the "blow-up" doll off the elephant's back and into a tree. The branches of the tree poked a hole in the doll and it fizzled to the ground.
To the people in the choppers it looked as if one of the other choppers had blown her away with a machine gun.
"Who gave the order to fire on that parade? Who fired? Are you guys fucking crazy?
Those words came from every chopper.
Plus…"We're in world of deep shit now"…
All across the Middles East people were watching the entire show on Aljazeera.
"Holy camel dung...the Americans are no different than the Egyptians and the Syrians," was being echoed from home to home.
/ / / / /
Posted by George S Batty