The Elephant Tree - 13

The elephant, the donkey, the undertaker and the farmer are in the farmer's barn having a circle talk. A circle talk is like "Catch 22"...nothing goes anywhere...It's a local replay of what goes on in Washington D.C. every day of the year.

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Ichaposi, the photog, is taking photos of the elephant, the donkey, the naive undertaker, and the farmer through a hole in the back of the barn.

Stumpy, the writer, didn't bother to knock on the barn door. He threw it open and started giving orders.

"Get your crap together; we got to get out of here."

"Who the hell are you," the farmer asked?

"He's a Pulitzer writer," the donkey said.

"Who the hell are you," the farmer repeated?

Stumpy's chest swelled at the compliment.

"Not yet, but I will be when I write this story."

"Cheeeesh donkey…how can you possibly claim liberals are smarter than democrats," the elephant said? "He has won a "Pulitzer Prize" yet.

I still don't know how you two animals and the farmer know each other," I groaned.

"Okay, elephant, how do you know the farmer?"


"He was the circus owner. He is our emancipator," the donkey said

"Cheeeesh donkey you answered my question. He's the one that manipulated the twenty million from the democrats and the republicans."

"That's what I said." the donkey brayed. "But, I didn't take forever to say it."

"Are these animals slow," the writer said?  "We need to get out of here. They are looking for you people."

"Why," the elephant, the donkey, the naïve undertaker, and the farmer all said at the same time?

"Me and the elephant are not people," the donkey said. "Are they looking for us to?"

"Why are they looking for us," I asked?

"Because you are subversive bastards that plan to kill the president," the stumpy writer said.

"Now here's my plan… I hide you from the CIA, the FBI, the White House staff and the President until you tell me who is financing you subversive bastards to kill the president. Then I will write my "Pulitzer Prize" winning story and then you can turn yourselves in and plead for mercy."

"Don't lump me in with these subversive bastards," the circus farmer said.

"We are not subversive bastards and we are not out to kill the president.  And, if we were, why would we turn ourselves in," I asked?

"Because, they have orders to shoot you subversive bastards on sight. If they find you, they are going blow your dumb asses clear back to Overthere."

"We're already hiding," the donkey said.  "Right here in this barn."

"I found you so they'll find you. Let's get moving."

"Sure," the elephant groaned. "We'll just walk away and no one will see us. Hell, no one could miss me and the donkey can't keep quiet. He talks more than the half brain, Ruben Limburger."

"That's it," the circus farmer said. "We will just walk right out of here. We will walk right out of here as a circus parade."

"A circus parade," Ichaposi said?

"Keep taking pictures," the stumpy writer said. "I'll do the talking and the writing."

"How can we have a parade," the donkey asked? "We don't have any tigers or lions or a band or any pretty girls. You can't have a circus parade without tigers and lions and pretty girls."

"Yes we can," the circus farmer said. "We will paint the ugly donkey to look like a zebra."

"I am not ugly," the ugly donkey said.

"We will dress the politician up as a 'ring master'."

"I am not a politician," the naïve undertaker said.

"We will put one of my blow-up dolls on the elephant's back."

"You have blow-up dolls," Stumpy and Ichaposi said in unison?

"Yes I do," the circus farmer said. "I live here all alone. I am hiding from the politicians so I can't go outside. What else am I supposed to do?"

"Cheeeesh, that's sick," the elephant said.

"I think Antonio Weinerly has a blow-up doll," the donkey said.

"The writer and the photographer will dress up as clowns. I'll lead the parade with my sousaphone. Donkey, you will be the middle and when I play a note on the sousaphone, you grunt like a zebra. Elephant, you will be at the end of the parade and after the donkey grunts like a zebra, you trump like an elephant."

"I can't grunt like a zebra," the donkey said.

"It doesn't matter," the writer said. "Everyone will be watching the blow-up doll."

"We will march out of here, through the town and out the other side," the circus farmer snickered."No will even know that you are the subversive bastards out to kill the president."


The first group of helicopters flew over the barn just after the circus parade marched out the barn door.

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