The Elephant Tree - 5

The elephant and the donkey have left the elephant tree without the notice of the reporteres that were there to interview them....
The undertaker has decided he was having a dream and has decide not go home..

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part 5

I sat with my feet in the water thinking about what I had just witnessed.   “Ridiculous, I thought, there is no logical way anything like that could have happened.  Maybe you are having flash backs from sucking in too many embalming fumes.”

Yes, I agreed with my mind.  What had happened did not happen.  Then my mind decided that I should stick my head in the cold water just to make sure I cleared out all of what I had seen and then I could never tell anyone such a ridiculous story and embarrass it.

This time I disagreed with my mind. I did not think I would relate the story to anyone I knew except maybe my grand children when we were sitting by a fire on a summer evening. 

I dried my feet with my socks, put on my socks and put my feet into my shoes and began my walk homeward.

 I would be glad to finally relax with a cold soda and a snack or maybe I would have some Oreo cookies with a cold glass of milk.

With that thought I realized that I had the taste of an Oreo cookie in my mouth.  I rubbed my mouth with the back of my hand and there was chocolate residue on my hand.

I was really confused.  Did I or Didn't I see an elephant in a tree and an ugly donkey?  Maybe it was just the boy and maybe we shared the Oreo cookies.  I couldn't have seen the elephant in a tree or the ugly donkey.

Of course, that was it.  I was not crazy. I just had a crazy dream.  Maybe there was a boy and the cookies but certainly not an elephant and an ugly donkey

“Hey, Mr. Politician, Squealer, Undertaker, would you like some of these peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?   My eyes were bigger than my belly.”

“That’s impossible,” the donkey said.

“Shush donkey, I’m having a conversation with the politician”

I couldn't believe my eyes and ears.

The elephant and the donkey were sitting under a big Elm tree.  I shook my head, blinked my eyes and turned to walk away.  I thought that I was having a dream but maybe I wasn't.  I turned to look again and they were still sitting there.

They were both back on their haunches like a dog and I almost burst out laughing but I still wasn't sure if what I was seeing was real.

I decided that it didn't matter if I was dreaming or seeing the real thing because either way, I didn't want any part of it.

“Don’t go, Mr. Politician,” the elephant said.  “We need a place to stay tonight and we were hoping you would let us stay at your place.”

“Yeah, sure, my wife would really go for that.  Honey, guess who’s coming to dinner?"

“Will she fix me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?”

“I can see that you don’t understand sarcasm.”

“He doesn't understand much.  That’s why the republicans chose him as their symbol,” the donkey snickered.  Then he brayed in delight.

“Will you stop that stupid braying?  You sound like Biden trying to explain foreign policy.”

"Well you sound like Limberg with all his brains tied behind his back," the donkey replied.

I could feel a headache starting to fester somewhere in the middle of my head.

“Quit talking to me.  You are not real.  You do not exist.  You are just a nightmare I’m having.  I’m going to wake up and take a cold shower.” I moaned.

“If you don’t think we’re real, then go ahead and pinch yourself and see if it hurts.”

“Absolutely,” the donkey said.  “Pinch real hard just to make sure.  You are right. You’re not having a nightmare; you’re having a daydonkey and a dayelephant…a real tired and a real hungry daydonkey and a stuffed dayelephant.”

“Punjably, donkey, now you’re beginning to sound like a politician,” the elephant groaned.

"Punjably?...You can use a word like that and call me a Politician? Maybe you should be running for president."

"Punjably is a perfectly normal word where I come from."

While they were squabbling I did pinch myself and it did hurt.  They were real. At least I was seeing them and hearing them. Maybe embalming fluid did have LSD side effects.

“Well, I have an idea,” I replied.  “You, mister donkey can eat the rest of the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and then you can both lie down and take a long nap and I’ll just go on home to a quiet dinner without a donkey and an elephant.

By the way, what happened to the boy and his mother?”

“It was his bed time so they went home.

"We're tired too but, we can’t sleep out here in the open,” they both said in unison.

"Why can't you sleep in the open? The open is where animals sleep."

"That's true but if we sleep in the open the reporters will find us.

“Where did you come from?”

“Overthere", they both said in unison and then they both pointed in the same direction.  The elephant used his snout and the donkey used his ears.

“Where in the bejeebees is ‘over there’," I asked?

“Overthere is over there,” they both said in unison again and again pointing as they did before.

“Does ‘over there’ have a name?”  My headache was getting stronger.

“Now I’m sure you’re a politician,” the elephant snorted.  “You do not listen.
Read my lips. The name of ‘Overthere is Overthere’ and it is spelled O-V-E-R-T-H-E-R-E.”

“I like ‘bejeebees’.  That’s what we can name our new city,” the donkey brayed

“Overthere is a place, not a direction,” continued the donkey.  “You politicians are all the same.  You only hear what you want to hear. You probably asked Bush what kind of flowers he sprouted or even worse, peed on his pant leg.”

“I am not a politician and I have never asked Bush anything. And, I sure as tootin I wouldn't pee on him.  However, I do have an idea where you guys can sleep tonight.”

“Where?” again in unison…and they both continued in an exasperated tone, “What in the name of heck is ‘tootin’”.

I ignored the question of ‘tootin’ and wasn't even about to get started on ‘bejeebees’.

“Overthere,” I said pointing in the direction of the mysterious ‘Overthere’. ´”Go back to ‘Overthere’ and sleep wherever you sleep when you are in ‘Overthere’”.

“No, we are migrating from ’Overthere’ to a place called ‘Overyonder’.”

The donkey had a low baritone voice that sounded like Don Ho when Don Ho was singing and the elephant’s voice had a higher tone of an Irish Tenor.  When they chanted in unison their voices created a sound that made your back bone vibrate.  I looked around to see if someone was poking me with a stick from behind.

“Why do you chant in unison, like that?”

“We were trained in the Political Icon School, “Icon U”


‘Icon U’, peeing on the president, and the joke about Biden. I used ‘tootin’, bejeebees’...terms my father had used. I had to be dreaming.  Maybe I should have stuck my head into the cold stream.  If I ignored them and pretended that they were not there, I could go on home to my nice warm dinner.  


to be continued (If someone doesn't stifle me)