The sly silver wolf has transformed his body into his natural state...that of half wolf...half ape and has abducted Princess Willa.
The tortoise (the protector of the princess) has had one front leg bitten off by the wolf-ape, Garulayntres, but he has managed to use his enchanted powers to transform his body into the powerful human known as Emanhellah , the protector of the forest.
His consort and constant pain in the ass, an owl, has planted his feathers on the head of Emanhellah and the two of them are following the trail of Garulayntres and the Princess.
"Why do you always need to be on my head," Emanhellah asked?
"I am not always there. It's just that on long treks like this my wings get tired."
"Well, I don't like it. It's embarrassing. How would I explain an owl on my head to the Princess Willa?"
"She rides on your back. That would seem more embarrassing to me than an owl riding on your head."
"That's true. She does ride on my back but, it is an honor to carry the Princess and she has never pooped on my back like you do."
"I've never understood that about humans. They are not natural. It's natural to eat and when your done with the food it simply leaves through the opposite end.
In...nourish the body...out..that's natural. Why do they have to hide behind trees and why does she make you look the other way? She never complains if I watch."
"I will always wonder who decided that owls were wise. It would much wiser to trust in a tortoise than an owl."
"Yeah, sure, I can just see it now. Hey Mr. wise old tortoise, who should I hire to protect my daughter? I would get an answer in about eight years. By that time who knows what kind of trouble she will get into."
"That's not fair. You mis-charactorise the tortoise. We may not be the fastest but we are not dumb and we are good protectors."
"You bet you are. It is obvious from how you've protected the princess. She has been taken by the wolf-ape Garulayntres while her protector, the warrior Emanhellah, missing one arm and being a limo driver for a crappy owl is wandering around the forest wondering where the hell she is...you're doing a dam fine job."
"I will find her and I will rescue her and when I do we may just have owl soup for lunch."
"You just made a wrong turn. The trail leads that way. Without me I don't think you could find one of those bathrooms you are always looking for."
"You distract me and besides these damn branches are to low. Garulayntres has probably transformed back into a wolf. I will also transform into a wolf."
"A three legged wolf? I'm not sure you should do that. Why don't you try becoming a Gleprichaun."
"Okay, I'll bite. What is a Gleprichaun"?
"Ah, now you admit that the owl is wiser. A Gleprichaun is a large Leprechaun with special powers. If you transform into one of them we could walk beneath the branches and with my help you will find that snarly old wolf. Then we can save the princess."
"We? I was the one that killed his grandfather."
"Only because he stopped to smell my poop on your shirt!"
to be continued
written for "mindlovemisery" - fairy tales...