Our fight with Cancer - three

I say "our fight"  and it was...even though she had the beast and I could only watch and cry.

I had to cry in the night...away from her...not in front of her...in front of her I had to be strong.

I knew that if she didn't make it, I wouldn't make it..

Oh, I am sure I would have continued. I have heard of some people dying of heart break.  Would I be one of those.  I wasn't sure but I wondered and I began to know the feelings of that kind of loss...not completely because I was lucky.

But then...then I wasn't sure...then... I was in a fog...a daze...with a smile that I hated.

She did the elephant walk 3 times a day for the week she recovered from having her stomach being cut open and her intestines reorganized.

Sometimes we forget who the heroes in the story really are. In this case, it was kaiser Insurance. If what I have written makes you feel like we were unhappy with our care provider...

Not true...

Nancy went in for a "check up" on Thursday. They removed her cancerous tumor on Sunday. That's fast and it would have been faster but she had to wait a day in order to get some blood.

Kaiser wasted no time or effort in doing all they could to treat my wife. I do not intend this article to be a commercial for a care provider but it would be remiss of me not to give them credit for saving my wife's life.

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Once the knife work was finished and my wife's stomach had healed they had to kill or attempt to kill what ever devils were still lurking inside of her. The best way I can describe it is roasting a marshmallow. You keep it close the heat to get it to a beautiful toasty brown...to close..your turn it into charcoal or a burning flame.

Also, with cancer comes the treatment conferences...not with the doctors...they knew what train to put her on and what station to take her off.

The conference is with the family. Everyone has watched the shows, the commercials and heard of the miracle treatments. The advice comes from everyone...family...friends...vulchers...

Go here...go there..drink this...the latest is...your provider doesn't know what they are doing...get this doctor...go to that hospital...

The truth is...if you're normal people and lucky enough to have medical insurance, you are stuck with the provider you have.

If you are wealthy and have all the money you need, then you can shop around.

We are not wealthy. We were stuck with kaiser... and thank God..no one could have done a finer job.

However, in those moments, hours, weeks, months...all you can do is hope and pray.


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to be continued