Now that they had almost killed my wife, we hoped, prayed, begged and beseeched God and anyone or anything else that would listen that they had also killed the cancer. The cancer couldn't have been as strong as Nancy and they almost got her.
But, you don't know. Now the "stand in line and wait game" really began.
Cancer is a nasty adversary. It's a sneaky little bastard that hides in the basement like I did as a boy. Like I did when I was caught doing something wrong...hide...if I hid long enough they might forget.
If they forgot then I might not get punished. That never happened. Eventually I got caught and punished.
Waiting for the test results was hard and I always tried to put the good foot out but, in my mind things were different. In my mind there was a runaway freight train.
Are those devious little "pacmen" demons still there...hiding in the liver... hiding in those stupid nodes. (What the hell do they do any way...carry disease?) Will they get to her brain...oh dear God not that. I had a friend whose wife had that...
I wished my dad was there. He caught me. Cancer would be no problem.
See, the mind works overtime. What must she have gone through. I didn't really know...not the mental anguish. Later I was to learn that she was worried about me, What would I do...if...if she didn't make it?
We didn't discuss it. We did not discuss death. I think we both felt that if we discussed it we might be inviting him in to stay awhile. No one invites death to dinner. When he leaves, he might just take a companion with him.
As you already know, we were lucky. Nancy is an eight year survivor of stage three colon cancer. But, we know those nasty little devils are still in there...in her...hiding somewhere. Maybe if our luck continues they will decide not to attack again. We can only hope.
Today she lives each day as if it were her last. She plays volleyball three times a week. She's backed off a little on soccer but I know that within a few week the soccer ball will start bouncing in her mind and off she'll go.
Cancer lives among us all. Most of us have been touched by the disease. My heart and prayers go out to all of those that are fighting the battle, those that have fought the battle and a special prayer for those that have lost the battle.
If you or one of your loved sholud be toched by that evil disease. I can only tell you to fight it with your head up and a smile on your face..like Nancy did.
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