Eureka...it's yours

   I never thought that it would happen to me...but it did and I could not figure out how to fix it.  I sure that it really doesn't matter why I created it but somehow I did and I posted it.  It is thee forever...for a damned eternity.
   After I sent it into the 'net cloud' to circle the globe forever, I realized that I had made a huge mistake.

   I thought about blaming my neighbor but he and I have always tried to maintain a civil relationship.  I really don't like him and it would have been really awesome to dump the damn thing on him but what if he knew that I was the guilty party...then...he could and would retaliate.   Damn, there is nothing worse than having a damned  neighbor that is always trying to get even.

   So I thought that maybe the church...you know...Pastor "I love everyone"...well I can tell you right now that the all loving Pastor said he would not love me...not if I dumped that burden of baloney on his pulpit...and the rest of the congregation?...well their love and kindness was very suspect...the "tar and feathers" kind of suspect.

   So, if a man of the cloth couldn't or wouldn't help me and my fellow "love thy neighbors" kind of neighbors couldn't or wouldn't help me, then where else was I to go?

   "Down there"...That's where!...and that's not a very nice place. I really didn't want to meet the guy or gal who ran the place but I had no choice.

   He or she was my last resort.  I just had to get rid of my burden.  After all, the agent called it a "damned piece of crap".  Actually he used words that were much worse but this is not an X-rated blog so I toned his remarks down...just a wee bit.

   However, his words did give me one of those... "Eureka moments".

   Eureka, I have it...damned...that's it...I'll have those people down below...the "Hellianites" burn the hell out of it.

   I made an appointment with hell.

   Well it turned out that the place was owned and ran by both a man and a woman but I think the woman was really the one in charge because when I sat down at the table she was chewing the red guy out for giving me the appointment.

   Their office was really strange.  Her side was like the South Pole.  It was decorated in cold blues and it was colder than hell.  Actually that couldn't be true because I was in hell.  His side was like the sun.  It was decorated in shades of reds and oranges and hotter than hell.  Dam, there I go again making hell hatter than hell.  No wander the damned book was so damned bad.

    She was Popsicle blue and screaming at him like a Banshee.  He was fire Red and trying to defend himself but all he could get out of his mouth was "but...but...but"...and with every 'but' out came a puff of black smoke.

    I waited for a moment and then excused myself for interfering but then she started in on me.  I didn't have to tell her my problem because she already knew why I was there.  She said that there was no way in hell that she or they were going to take the blame for writing that piece of "blankety-blank crap".  She cackled when she told me how bad my book was.  I believe she said, "You wrote it, you deal with it".  Then she pointed her finger at me and shot me with a blue lightning bolt.

   No, the bolt didn't kill me but it did blow me right out of the hell I was in.  It also left me with a tattoo of a blue lightning bold above my left nipple.

   Now there's a real twist for you.  Most people get blown to hell but I got blown out of hell.

   The next morning I stood in front of my mirror admiring my new blue lightning bolt tattoo and wondering how I was going to divorce myself of my own work when it dawned on me that all I had to do to get rid of that damned book was to sign someone else name to it.

    You better pray that I didn't sign yours.