We were two
she and I
she and I
she was blue
I was lost
she was wild
I was shy
We became one
she and I
she was everywhere
she was everything
I was lost in she
she was lost in I
she permeated my world
The atmosphere was filled with her
I could feel her, sense her
as part of me
she blanketed me
like a warm summer breeze.
she surrounded me
engulfed me
caressed me
she lifted me.
she was I
I was she
Then we we were two
she and I
It was fun
when we were one
When we became
two
she was lost
I was blue
bittersweet and written so creatively!
ReplyDeletei really enjoyed this Grizz
Lucy - thanks, your thoughts are always kind
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad! I guess I was hoping for a happy ending. A very interesting use of inverted couplets.
ReplyDeleteGranny - always an honor when you drop in. thanks
ReplyDeleteI like the wordplay here. Very well done.
ReplyDeletemy o my this is just divine :)
ReplyDeleteMy Sunday Poetry
Some great word play here. An excellent job.
ReplyDeleteThe simplicity enhances the feeling..
ReplyDeleteweeks trample on each other like magazines
wonderful grizz! and a beautiful flow my dear. just beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThis was so touching and sad...they came full circle. Simply beautiful...
ReplyDeleteHello! We invite you to contribute to our new poetry blog: objects of imitation
ReplyDeleteTouching!!!
ReplyDeleteSelma - I always enjoy your comments-thanks
ReplyDeleteDesi - thank you appreciated
Mr. North - a great comment from the master
gautami - thank you
mz mouthy - nice to have you back. loved the dod story
sweetest - thank you
to all who spent some time with me, I truly appreciate you. Poetry is not my forte and to get favorable comments is truly gratifying.
All who have visited me this day are very good writers and truly honor me by stopping in.
i like the beginning and end. seems like a familiar story.
ReplyDeleteNicely written buddy.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I really liked this.
ReplyDeleteYou said it perfectly
ReplyDeleteLove found
Love lost
Blue
Life goes on!
b
Beautiful! You captured the relationship gone wrong perfectly.
ReplyDeleteOh, I really, really like that! The effect of the shifts, the turning of the tides, blue and lost, lost and the blue. Very cool, Grizz : )
ReplyDeleteCan't beat life experience for a writing prompt eh Grizz. I hope you didn't have your heart broked though. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteLove how the cycle of poetic justice turns!
ReplyDeletewell, there you go.
ReplyDeleteI prefer being one, I've realized, only after having experienced being two.
ReplyDeleteshe was wild, I was shy...Oh Grizz, sounded doomed. she stayed long as she could, then took her free spirit off to another atmosphere, leaving you blue - I would totally open up a can of whoop-ass on her for you but she would be hard to catch as a hummingbird :)
ReplyDelete