In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I never bothered to pay attention to.
I was not and am not any different than any other son. Sons always know more than than their fathers. Everyone knows that. We all go through our growing pains being pains in the asses. It is not until we've gone over fool's hill that it dawns on us that the "old man" was not so dumb after all. All dads give advice. Some give a lot of advice and some give only what they think is necessary. My dad was of the latter group. He didn't talk much but every now and then, when we were off alone somewhere, he would offer my some words that he felt were important. On one occasion when I was in my early teens we were sitting on the patio and he offered me these words of wisdom. "Son, I know you're starting to take an interest in the young ladies and I think I need to offer some words of advice.
Always treat girls with respect.
Always treat girls with respect.
Never do anything that would make your mother ashamed of you and above all, never unzip your pants with a girl you wouldn't marry." That was it. He never spoke another word to me about sex.
Well if you read the first sentence of the blog you already know that I didn't listen.
I am not going to dance any skeletons out of my closet and tell all of the sordid details but I certainly would have been better off if I had listened. I would just like to tell my dad that he was right. It is to bad that I couldn't have said that to him while he was still alive.
The same thing has happened to me, in that I rejected some advice given to me by my father and he was proved to be right. I am still cross that I didn't take his advice. It would have saved me a lot of bother. If only I'd known then what I know now!
ReplyDeleteAdvice is often hard to follow! Perhaps it feels like an invasion of personal right to make a decision. I don't know! But I've learnt that advice given in the spirit of love is often worth a second thought! Interesting reflection!
ReplyDeletewhen I studied at the university I had a classmate that was older than we...she was already married and I have remembered her words later many times ....... she said to us "girls do never go to bed with a man you would not plan to have a child" ....the wisdom of older!
ReplyDeleteI love how simply and how well your father stated this advice. So true, if only it were that simple to understand at a young age. How much easier all our lives would have been! It took me 54 years to figure out what/who might make a successful marriage partner. But this time I finally got it right! :-) I wish I would have listened more to my parent's advice too.
ReplyDeleteI wish your dad is somewhere out there reading this write, and know that repentance has already set unto you. Had he not advised you, we wouldn't be reading this story buddy. The youth is the most active, rebellious and perilous moment of life. Hardly listens to the right advice, despite being able to hear. Hardly sees the right thing, despite being able to see. Its a violation of conscience to dig the skeletons from the closet, though I wish to see more skeletons:)
ReplyDeleteThe old story it seems. At sixteen we think 'they' know nothing. At sixty we realise they knew a great deal!
ReplyDeleteAh yes, the advice of our fathers often went unheeded just as the advice we give (or in my case) gave the children. It is the nature of beast.
ReplyDeleteWell written Stanley!
Yes he was right. Unfortunately different age groups and life stages show us different meanings to advice.
ReplyDeleteSigh- I think we all have those experiences that can't be changed as much as we wish they could. I also lost my dad. I can hear you missing him here. There are many things I wish I could have told my dad before he suddenly died.
ReplyDeleteEven though the advice wasn't followed, don't be too hard on yourself. We all often choose our own paths and "doo doo" happens as you so aptly put it in your blog header. That's life. Besides his advice DID leave an impression on you. That's clear in this post. (I LOVE your quip about "charmin"!)