
Short stories that tickle the imagination, warm your heart or "make you want to explode"
God Spoke to Me

STORY TELLING



Oh to be Good
Lost in the sea of blog
Never to be found
Shall I go under after three
or do I quit at two
A Name is Born
Someone once asked if I had my choice, "What animal I would like to be?" Most people that know me are sure that I am already a bear. Not just any old bear, but an Alaskan Grizzly bear.
Big-Nasty and Mean. Mean and Nasty enough to control my turf. My turf is a 900 square mile area in the heart of Alaska. The only other living thing I allow on my turf is my cute little old female Grizzly Bear. My turf consists of beautiful mountains filled with pine trees and berry bushes. Thousands and thousands of berry bushes for me to eat at my leisure. Thousands and thousands of pine trees for me to scratch my back when ever I feel like it. I stroll through the pines and eat berries when I want to. I take naps in the warm afternoon sun when I want to.
I have my own river stocked with trout and salmon. I swim in the pools of the river and eat my meals of fish when I want to. If any other creature enters my turf, I smell them down and chase them away with my mighty voice. I stand up tall and roar the roar of the mightiest Grizzly of them all. My roar echos through the canyons letting the world know, I am mad. Beware "Old Grizz" is mad. Do not let him catch you. This is his forest, his trees, his berries, his fish. Only he can sleep in the afternoon sun. Not even his mate, the "Cute Grizzly" will bother him now. Every one run and hide.
And then My sweet little daughter will say "Mom, would you get dad a cup of coffee so he won't be such a bear"
Hey Noah - Answer this one!
I need to begin this article with two disclaimers. First, my question is in no way meant to be demeaning to anyone's religion or religious beliefs. Second, this article was written by my new alter ego, "Old Grizz Batty" and in no way reflects on GS Batty-Baity or SG Beatty. In fact they were asleep when "Old Grizz" wrote this article.
If I could ask someone from my past a question that has always bothered me, it would be my Grandpa Noah. I'm talking about my grandpa Noah from the Ark days. That's right, the Noah that built the Ark and saved all the animals.
I have always had one question that has bugged me.
No, it's not the size of the Ark. I do not question nor care what a cubit is. I believe Noah made the Ark and did not sub out the project to a Jewish boat builder. No, It's not the logistics of the trip. I believe God and Noah could have easily figured out how to feed all those animals for forty days and forty nights. No, I do not have an issue of how all the animals got there. I believe God can Poof anything, anywhere, anytime he wants to.
Yes there is a question of waste. How did they get rid of the stuff that came out the back end? How many people on that Ark? Who got stuck with picking up the poop? I have three dogs and can barely clean up after them every day. But, that isn't my question.
What I would really like to ask Noah about is the selection if the animals. One specie in particular.
No, it's not about the rats or the mosquitoes. Yes, they are pesky, ugly, nasty critters, but I believe they have an important place in God's plan. They are the punishers, the plague carriers, the purveyors of petulance.
I know that when you are pushing the envelope of sin hood, the Rats and the Mosquitoes are sent to wake you up. Whenever, one of those creature show up, I know I am getting close to making God mad and it doesn't take me long to get back on the right track.
NO, no , no, the Snakes and the Desert crawly thing are cool. No big deal to me. And the rest of Gods nasty creatures are good with me. Well maybe the Komodo Dragon? I do have to wonder about that one.
The critters that bug me are bugs. Specifically, the teeny-weeny, drive you nuts little beasts that the Indians called "No-See-Ems". The Gnats, those treacherous little devils that swarm into your eyes, ears, mouth and nose when your camping in your own particular garden of Eden, are really what bug me.
Now, I am not trying to be blasphemous. I know your are not supposed to Question God. However, I really have a question for God and Noah is my last known relative that talked to God. I would like to ask Noah to ask God why he created the invisible little monsters in the first place. Also, why, after actually seeing the havoc they caused in the Garden did he let them on the boat? Didn't he realize that two "No-See-Ems" can have a court-ship, a wedding, a honeymoon and 50 billion Grand-No-See-Ems in less than a day. The Ark must have been an awful hell hole.
No pun intended. What really bugs me (pun intended) is the fact that these non-edenylic little thugs are lurking behind every Edenic or Idyllic picture that has ever been photographed or painted. If you could dive into the picture, you would immediately be covered by the black little devils and you would come leaping back into the real world, never to enjoy the serenity of a lifeless picture again.
OK, Noah. Here's the question, "Would you ask God what is the purpose of these little tormentors, anyway?"
Old Grizz Batty
SHOE TREE

stands a lonely tree
all gnarly and dead.
Gone are the leaves
Gone is the shade
that it made for my head
It lived it's life
on the side of a road
only to die
alone in the sun
and there it stood
as a monument of death
wondering
if ever a tear has been shed
by anyone that had passed it by
someone that could remember
how it cooled them from the sun in the sky
but no, the old did not care
and the young
with no life in their souls
chose to shame the old tree
with dirty old shoes
that cling to it's branches
like an ugly old leach
leaving their stench
to hang in the air
and leave the old tree
in utter despair
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