White Elephant in my Mind

I know it’s not good to let things fester in my mind and I‘ve told that to my mind more than once.  But unfortunately I have a mind that doesn’t pay attention.  It’s going to do or think whatever the hell it wants to.

Oh, I can control my actions and I can push back or stem thoughts that are not acceptable or at least the actions that would go along with those thoughts that are not acceptable.

You know the thoughts that I am referring to, or at least I think that you know. They are the thoughts of robbing a bank or some other nefarious activity that sneak though my mind on occasions.  Just before I slap those thoughts into submission I tell my mind that I could do that.  I could rob a bank and get away with it.  I am sure I could.

Okay, why don’t I or why haven’t I?  Well I choose to think it’s because I have a strong moral fiber (don’t you dare giggle) and the fact that I can still hear my mother’s voice telling me to be a good boy.

However, my story is about the white elephant in my mind that will not go away.  I can only blame myself because I am the one the put it there.  I put it there sometime in the first years of my marriage.  I like to call those years the passionate years or at least I think they were.  To be truthful, I’m not sure if I remember.

I’ll bet you’ve already guessed that the white elephant in my mind revolves around…yes, I’m going to say it…sex.  Yes …sex.  Don’t get worried.  I’m not going to write a porn scene for you or even a soft porn scene.

The white elephant in my mind is only a beautiful, sheer sexy white negligee. Well now I say only, but back then it was more than only.  It was one of my passionate desires.  I bought that beautiful, sheer sexy white negligee and ask my wife to wear it on those special occasions; well maybe it was my special occasions.

You have to be wondering what could turn a sheer white sexy negligee into a mind filling white elephant.  At least, I hope you are.

It’s simple, she never wore it.  I never saw that beautiful, sheer sexy white negligee again.  It seemed to just go poof and the longer it went poof the bigger it grew at least, the bigger it grew in my mind.

Now don’t think that I asked her to wear it when anyone else was around.  No, I planned the occasion just for me and I’m still waiting.  Actually I finally gave up about six years ago.  To be exact, 6 years, 5 months, 3 weeks, 2 days, and now… 5 hours, 36 minutes and 15 seconds ago.

The frustrating part is that way back then, I was stubborn and refused to ask her about that beautiful, sheer sexy white negligee and the longer that beautiful, sheer sexy white negligee was poofed, the bigger it grew in my mind and the less I could ask her what happened to it.

Now, umpteen and some years later if I was to ask her...

“What happened to that beautiful, sheer, sexy white negligee that I bought for you to wear for me?”

I know exactly what she would say.

“What negligee?”