"Barbie" for Sunday Scribblings

The military is not a lonely place, especially if your in boot camp. That's where I was, among a bunch of other horny GI's. I had been there about 4 weeks when I got my "1st"package from home. Actually, it wasn't from "home", it was from my girl friend. I had written her about the wonderful life we were living and how much I missed her. I stressed that she need not worry about me and other girls because even if I wanted to find a girl there was no way in hell "they" were going to let me near one. When I open my "package" I was sure I was getting cookies. But, alas, that was not the case. I got got a horny love letter and a "Barbie" doll. Here, she wrote, is a girl you can play with to keep you busy. The only good thing about it was that everyone else was so busy opening their mail that they did not notice my "new girl friend". I hurriedly hid her in the top of my locker thinking "damn I have to get rid of that thing". You ladies probably do not have any idea of what happened next but if any of you guys were in the military, you know what was about to happen. That's right....Surprise Inspection. Line up men. Open up your Lockers, Papa's going hunting. That's right gentlemen we are going to see how really clean you are. If you know what prayer is then you know that I was praying. "Oh please dear God, not my locker. Please, please, please... God Help Me. But no, God wasn't about to help me that day. OK Private Grizz ( I really wasn't Grizz in those days, but, well you understand), lets see how neat and tidy your locker is. Oh my oh my, what do we have here? I'll be damned. Hey gentlemen, look what Private Grizz has....... his own personal doll,...... a @@%**^#@ barbie doll. Private Jensen, you bunk below Private Grizz, does he play with himself? Does he wear pink panties? Sir I can explain, I stammered. It was a joke from my girl. A joke he screamed. Your a joke. ... 100 push ups .....right now. Count em gentlemen. Wait.. Private Grizz, Do you want me to put the doll under you while you do the push ups? N n n n n no Sir...... Hit the deck. Count em gentleman or you'll be down there with him. And Mr. Private "Sissy", while your doing your push ups, think about the next 10 days you have on KP. Boys who play with dolls can surely do a great job washing dishes. I hate Barbie Dolls